A spider roughly the size of a satellite dish built a human-trap across the back porch. It looks something like this:
It may even look exactly like that except that I can only see it’s underside from inside the house and, when outside, my zoom doesn’t capture the light very well in the darkened lair-like corner that it has chosen to set up shop in.
According to my rather extensive internet sluething, it’s a black and yellow argiope spider, and will have laid an egg sack somewhere close to the house from which billions of little baby black and yellow argiope spiders will hatch in several weeks.
This doesn’t leave me much time to devise an effective yet remote way to kill it. The one solution I keep coming back to is to use a massive firebomb, but that would obviously do some damage to the house as well. Probably don’t have insurance for that.
In other news, I have a temp job! This leaves me less time to strategize in re spider, but that’s probably healthy. I’m a receptionist at the corporate offices for the maker of my computer, which happen to be about 3 miles away from where I live. Popped home for lunch and let the dogs out. It was great.
These nuts seem to be very happy with me, so I’m not quite sure what they were expecting. My job is to smile and be polite to people, answer phones and to create badges for visitors. It isn’t taxing the noodle but let them think what they may. It’s stroking the ego a bit to be so appreciated.
I can’t think of a logical segue into this next thing, but this is where my brain went, so bear with me:
Yesterday at the dog park, I was busy yelling at Ludo for being retarded when a woman nearby extricated herself from her book and said something magical:
“‘Ludo’. Haven’t heard that name in awhile!” and then, and then she said in a perfect ‘Ludo’ voice: “Smell baaaaad!”
Just when I’d begun to think that I was the only person on earth who ever watched Labyrinth as a child, dreamed of being Jennifer Connelly and taming the naughty Jareth.
We then carried on a rather lofty conversation that involved reciting lines impersonating other characters, discussing how hot David Bowie was in those purple snake-skin tights and sharing our thoughts about the plot and moral.
This entire conversation ranks as a life-highlight.
I thought about branching out into other 80’s movies, such as Anne of Green Gables, when Anne discovers her kindred spirit, Kate, in the window, the only girl who truly understands…but I didn’t want to scare of dog-park lady. We’ll call her “Kate”, though.
Kate then asked about the papers I had strewn over the pic-nic table and I explained that I had a rather big job interview that day. The job description sounded tailored to my every wildest dream, was with an organization that does a lot of good social work and would involve quite a pay hike. It would also involve a move back to Richmond, which I’m lukewarm about at this point, if I’m honest. Most of my friends have already left, the culture seems to be stronger down here in the Triangle area, I’ve recently met quite a few people that I really enjoy and would miss, and I love my cute little place. It would be a big move.
Well. Said Kate. Good luck, and I hope that…whatever is best will work out!