Blackberry is Ruining My Life

I was eased from slumber this morning by the lovely tonal rumbling of the BlackBerry and cuddled in bed for several extra minutes enjoying the peaceful transition from dreamland to consciousness.

The morning went rapidly downhill from there. Last night I downloaded a WordPress app and wrote a cute post that will never see the light of day because you can write all you want. You can insert photos and complicated punctuation and hyperlinks until your fingers are worn to stubby little nubs but what you can NOT do is actually publish the post. I’ve also discovered that the reason I was unable to find and download Skype for the BlackBerry is because Skype for AT&T customers using the Torch doesn’t exist. Eeeexcellent. When I finally put the phone down this morning, the dogs were busy losing their minds with anticipation of going outside.

When a dog loses his mind, he does the following: leaps onto the couch and rubs against the length of it like a cat while making guttural howling sounds, throws a toy for himself up in the air and slams into furniture and walls chasing after it, runs into you at full-speed while you’re strategically unprepared to move quickly because you’re doubled over tying your shoes and, my personal favorite, drinks the ENTIRE dish of water, positions himself in front of you and then barfs it all up.

When we finally got outside, a friend from work was out walking and asked me if I’d gone to the party the night before.

What party.

…the party for work.

What party.

Turns out that there was a huge big party at the fanciest restaurant in town last night that, had I not been on the phone with IT trying to get the Blackberry to sync up with Lotus Notes, I would’ve been able to go to. It was technically only for the Sales group but anyone who found out about it could go and the woman who works behind me had been hovering at my desk before giving up and leaving. It was really fun, evidently. Lots of booze, good food and swank on the company dime. Mmph.

No, I didn’t go. Nor did the Blackberry get synced. Instead of coming with a proper manual, this bad boy came with a glossy 8″x11″ illustrated poster. All eagerness and excitement, I showed my new phone to the Nerd last night.

“Look at how pretty! It’s retro-white but uber techie cool!”

This met with patronizing silence.

“And look!” I ran a finger over the touchscreen and applications whirled by. “It wooshes, just like your iPhone 4S!”

“That phone is nothing like the iPhone 4S.” There wasn’t emotional room on the planet for appropriate levels of scorn. “And I would hardly call that ‘wooshing’.”

I contented myself with buttons and searching for, but not finding a Skype application and typing but not posting a very long entry on this blog one painstakingly little bitty character at a time. Many hours later, after having accomplished nothing more than killing the battery, I handed it over in frustration.

“Can’t figure out how to use it? Maybe we should ask Siri.”

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3 thoughts on “Blackberry is Ruining My Life

  1. Zeldon says:

    Lots of best parts to this entry. Which dog drank all the water and immediately barfed it up? I figure Nuke was throwing the toy up in the air and doing his couch thing.

    Why do great companies sometimes use the stupidest tech tools?

  2. Jen says:

    Nook did the growling, rumbling, toy tossing and puking. Ludo did the running into me with limbs akimbo and floppy tongue flapping all over the place while I was trying to tie my shoes. They were both driving me bonkers. The puking definitely took the morning from good to great.

  3. Grammapat says:

    o yeah!

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