My go-to source for all things sane and erudite recently reported that yoga could kill you. And also that what doesn’t kill you will only make you fatter (also from NPR, although the second is more of a paraphrase than an actual quote).
Yoga now ranks at the very top of The Things I’d Die if I Died From list followed very closely by falling down the stairs and tetanus*.
This is all relevant because I almost died earlier. While sailing blithely through an intersection, I was surprised to find myself suddenly eyeball to eyeball with a punk in a Honda. All went still, giving me time to do the things that one does while staring death and Honda’s in the face:
1. wonder with disturbing detachment how many millimeters the hood is away from my car and, wow, probably very very few
2. be glad that I hadn’t just blown a huge wad on new tires because this was going to be way more expensive
3. register extreme annoyance that this could potentially be it and determine that actually tetanus would’ve been a much better story for whomever wanted to tell it
And then my grim reaper pulled hard to his right while I lurched to the left saving anyone the bother. Reflexes, people. They are the cause of and the solution to all of life’s problems.
He pulled over, so I stopped sliding around on the hillside I’d been attempting to slalom up to make sure he was ok.
He was ok. He asked if I was ok. I was ok.
And then we both got back in our cars and I died a little bit when he pulled in behind me several minutes later. We’d both been going to the same place.
*Tetanus – after falling on my face while biking, requiring 8 stitches in the middle of my forehead, a hospital intern asked me when I’d last gotten a tetanus jab.
“Ah”, and he jabbed me in the arm. “Oh, wait – never?” He then made me pull down my jeans and jabbed me in the bottom. He was cute too, it was awful. Superhuman amounts of tetanus fighting antibodies or whatever surging through my veins. I cannot die of tetanus.
And falling down the stairs would just be embarrassing. At least let me leave with my dignity.