It would be great if everyone would just stop dying for a second.
One of my favorite films of all time is a quiet movie called “Sweet Land”. Early on in the film, an elderly woman is asked after the death of her husband if she’s been happy.
‘Different kinds of happy” she replies, a gorgeous sentiment. The film goes on to chronicle her struggles to find her place in her adopted country, community and new husband with it’s foreign and limiting social mores. Expectations aren’t met at the very beginning, but there is happiness in the resulting work, friction and mundane struggles of everyday life. It isn’t splashy, and harmony doesn’t come through a change of circumstance, but in the quiet perserverance of the two main characters. Sweet film. Guess what I’ll be doing with myself tonight.
Think it’s fair to say that the root cause of any unhappiness that I’ve felt has been because life hasn’t met my expectations of it. Circumstances are different, people I’d wanted to have with me don’t have the role in life I’d expected, or are gone from it entirely. But life isn’t better or worse because of any of this, it’s just different. Still happy.