Stalking Myself

A friend of mine recently found this blog by doing a google search and enjoyed catching up on office drama very much. This gave me a massive heart-attack

As it turns out, connections on g+ are ushered past the velvet privacy rope of your life. Take note. Pretty sure that random people, like say hiring managers, or scary ex-bosses, can’t search my name and come up with this. Let’s live on the edge though, shall we? I apologize in advance for deep sixing this blog if I ever see my office pop up on the IP log. If that ever happens, I will be torpedo-ing this bad boy from all sides and moving to Meh-i-co.

Speaking of cyber-stalking that ends in mild mortification, there’s an SVP from the office that I run into every time I turn around. Turns out he lives down the street somewhere. Yesterday, I was waiting in an immobile line at CVS when I spotted a guy with his build surveying the cheap perfurmes kept behind glass. Figured God wouldn’t do that to me on my own turf while I was wearing muddy boat shoes but He totally did. Guy turned around, revealing his hierarchical superiority so I accepted defeat, tried not to think about all of the dog hair festooned upon my person and said “hello” like a grown-up. He was waiting patiently for a prescription and asked why I was in line.

I had been in line for ten minutes and was now 10 minutes late for ice-skating because I wanted to buy mints. He raised both his eyebrows. Really good mints, I added. And you can’t just buy them anywhere, you have to buy them here. I didn’t add that I was going to be seeing people and didn’t have time to go home and brush my teeth again so this was my solution to covering up lunch. People don’t need to know these things.

Hm. He said.

When the lady who was trying to return something that she’d purchased at a different store was finally booted from the building, I was able to purchase the mints and gave him one. He conceded that it was indeed a delicious mint and that if this was the only thing I was obsessive about, then that was probably ok. It isn’t, of course, but I was late and wisely recognized that this had been a rhetorical statement on his part not an invitation to list off the innumerable things that I was obsessive about.

LinkedIn allows you to see who’s peeked at your profile and I noticed that he checked at some point this weekend. My profile isn’t terrible, but it’s definitely flippant. Someone who reports directly to the CEO of your global corporation could potentially eye-ball this summation and suspect that you don’t take your job very seriously.

Then again, I’d asked him how things were going and he said “Oh, you know. It’s all kind of bearing down on me now.” As he said this, he out-stretched his arms and made a face similar to an expression you might encounter on a half-crazed mountain lion as it flew threw the air with claws extended, having just flung itself from a cliff in order to pounce upon some oblivious hiker.

Still. I will be re-wording that profile. And monitoring the IP addresses. If I can’t be irresponsibly snarky here, where, I ask you, can a girl unload the snark!

Also – it’s cold. I’m cold.

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5 thoughts on “Stalking Myself

  1. Grammapat says:

    Don’t bother adding to that “obsession” Jen. Just give the SVP the URL for your blog. Maybe he’s a dog-guy too?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Jen! I’ll be able to take you up in that lunch date soon…

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