A Long Morning

I am on a diet. What this means is that once upon a time, I didn’t think at all about food and stuffed my face with whatever was at-hand that happened to look delicious.

Now, I think about food all the time. I’m also hungry all the time.

I’m meeting a friend for lunch who can’t leave until 1pm because his job is ridiculously regimented, and I might actually die before the noon hour is up. I can feel my stomach eating itself and if I wasn’t 100% positive that traffic will be a nightmare, I’d plead for feet to be liberally applied to accelerator pedals in order to expedite a mission demolishing field trip to Five Guys, 4 miles down the road. Where upon I would order two of everything they sell (including beverages) and blow this diet to kingdom come.

“What are you in the mood for” he just pinged, as if I hadn’t already been thinking about food for the last three hours straight.

“FOOD” was my obvious reply. An entire month and I’m only down 8 lbs. If I was suffering AND making significant progress, this wouldn’t feel like self-mutilation. But I am suffering and I’m not making significant progress. So it does feel like unusually cruel self-inflicted torture. And it’s not even 12:30. I hate life. I wonder if they’re selling macadamia nut cookies in the first-floor cafe today. I totally bet that they are, those demented evil minions from HELLLLLL.


7 thoughts on “A Long Morning

  1. Anonymous says:

    Eight pounds is great. Sugar is Bbbbbaaaaaddddd. BAD.
    I found some Ednamame in the frozen food section of the grocery store. This stuff microwaves easily, has sea salt on it and is fun to eat… and good for you. Give it a try.

    • Jen says:

      They were selling macadamia nut cookies downstairs. I know this because I just went down there and bought one. While reaching into my purse for my wallet, somehow I managed to catch a tampon that was wedged in there. This tampon then proceeded to go SAILING through the air, end over end – in slow motion – with a long line of people behind me and cute cafe guy watching in disbelief, until it landed on the far end of the opposite side of the counter. He had to reach down and retrieve it to me while I collapsed all over the counter in hysterical giggles. How horrible. Why would it go sailing through the air like that. Why didn’t it just tumble out and call it good. KARMA, that’s why!

  2. Anonymous says:

    OMG… JEN. Karma indeed.

    Wanted to remind you that the brain sends the same message for “thirsty” as it does for “hungry”, so try and drink a bunch of water and wait 10 minutes, before you resort to cookie. (Also keep the 100 cal packs of almonds handy… eat something every 2-3 hours to keep the fat burning off).

    Sugar always just wants more sugar… it doesn’t tend to satisfy.

    Also, if you are excercizing you are building muscle which weighs more than fat, so the scale will not tell you the whole truth. Better to just check the way your clothes fit.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Fortunately Jen, you are NOT what you eat! Lunch with a cute guy? That can’t be too bad. He must see something more in you than pounds. Hugs from Grammy

  4. Zeldon says:

    That tampon scene must be recreated in a movie!

  5. tampon story priceless! AND that he had to pick it up is hilarious!!

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