Wasn’t the last blog entry titled that? I should go look. So. Much. Effort.
My pearl earrings don’t match, I can feel the blood capillaries in my right eye bursting from sleep deprivation, I just forgot the name of a guy that I work with like every day and I’m pretty sure that I forgot to rinse the conditioner out of my hair. Conditioner definitely went in: the stuff I use is nectar of the gods – ones scalp feels all tingly and delicious – it’s a memorable experience. Rinsing it off…not so much. I did remember to shave both legs though (sadly abnormal).
This time change is killing me.
While getting ready this morning at the bathroom vanity, I took two side-steps over to the shelf thingy to get something and stood there, batting at the storage door that doesn’t stay open while my brain went on screensaver. For about 2 minutes. Which may not seem like a lot, but sit here for two minutes doing nothing and see how you like it. Only when the door that I’d been harassing flew off the hinges, smashing one of the corners into the floor and scattering screws like shrapnel, did I snap out of it. It was quite the clatter.
My brush, I’d wanted my brush.
There is no real foolproof way to determine if one forgot to rinse the conditioner out of one’s hair. Generally, when in doubt, I hop back into the shower. Just in case. This occurs often. I am not a morning person. Today, the sands of time were screaming through my fingers and there was no room to mess around. And messing around would have occurred in the shower. Inevitably I would have ended up shaving another leg just to feel like I’d accomplished something after five minutes of standing there with water at my back, semi-comatose and almost forgetting to breath. I could have died.
Some symptoms of unrinsed hair (a list! I lovalist!):
1. it parts for a comb the way the red sea did for Moses. Almost before the tines reach it, cords of hair have aligned to allow for smooth passage.
2. it takes decades to dry. Not sure why this is, but experience has told me that it is so. Perhaps because the conditioner coats the hair, trapping moisture in. This is, after all, its’ job. At this stage, your suspicions have escalated from ‘aroused’ to ‘quasi confirmed’.
3. when dry, your hair, which usually feels like spun silk, feels like slippery spun silk. It looks amazing, though. Until noon.
By lunchtime, I’m going to look like Gumby. Or was it Gumbo. That green guy made of one solid slab of clay. Should have rinsed. And, holy God, some coffee would be dreamy. There’s free coffee on the third floor but it tastes like motor oil that’s taken a little trip through sewage pipes. Not tempting quite yet. Give it 30 minutes.
An Update – Some chick just stopped by my cube and said that she’s been meaning to tell me that I always look so cute. Beautiful timing. After snorting into my oatmeal, I accepted the compliment like a lady.
Also – that “running off the rails on the crazy train” song is stuck in my head.