The Jay-Oh-Bee

So, working for boys. It’s pretty much amazing. Why haven’t I ever worked for boys before. Boys are the best. They’re shipping me to China although the business justification for my presence is tenuous, at best; they blew up the phone upgrading my coach seats to business using their frequent flier miles; they’re leaving me in Europe after a business trip so that I can go to the UK with my mommmmmy, and when I say “no”, they say “fine”. That last part’s my favorite. Especially considering the workload…

Allow me to describe what a day in the life is like over here: like a nightmare game of “Tetris” trapped on level “gazillion”.

The tetris pieces are piling in, the music’s getting faster and I think my heart might explode. 12 hour days are for total amateurs. As soon as they identified the hire for this job (me), they clearly began to let the work pile up, regardless of deadline. I actually had a dream last night about Tetris, after working until 11:30pm. I then woke up at 6 to try to dig out of the inbox, came into the office and have still not finished writing a script that was due last Friday (in all fairness, it came across my desk for edits yesterday. Which was awesome) nor have I finished cross-referencing an four tabs of data on an excel spreadsheet to make sure that a 5 page ppt covers the same information. It doesn’t. It can’t. The excel is in 9 font-type and the ppt is a big fat 14. If the projects listed on the spreadsheet were referred to in the same manner as they are on the powerpoint, that would be helpful. But are they? NO! “MOQ” on the powerpoint might be “Air MOQ” on the spreadsheet, but it might also be “MOQ Impact Reduction”. Or maybe “operational execution MOQ”. But then it might be “MOQ Deep Dive”. And what the f#*% is “MOQ”, anyway? This is due tomorrow and the informational meeting I was to have with the project driver just got postponed. For the third time. Until tomorrow morning. So this should be interesting. My inbox is crazy insane bonkers, people are asking me to do things with reports full of acronyms, they’ve decided to have a huge event in 14 DAYS (which I won’t be here for but need to plan and then cross my fingers in the hopes that everyone will just DO what they’re supposed to DO when they’re supposed to DO IT). And my desk phone stopped working during the move. It’s asking me to enter a code and the code isn’t 1234, 12345 or 123456 so I’m out of guesses. One less way to contact me is ok right now, so I have to admit that I haven’t been busting my butt to get it fixed. Doesn’t matter anyway, since the number listed for me in the Directory is WRONG (that I have been busting my butt to get fixed, as everything else is wrong as well. I open a new case daily and everyday IT tells me that they’ve fixed it. It’s a fun game we play).  Oh yeah, and I’m still doing my old job.

It’s all good. Job security and whatnot. And I have benefits! And now have access to the employee gym (contractors can only peer through the window and look forlorn).

Things will calm down once this trial by fire push for June is over. I’ll have learned all the lingo, will have a better grasp on organizational priorities and will have a couple of cool stamps and visas in my passport.

I think that the word “woot” accompanied by a couple of exclamation points would be the best descriptor for this entire situation.


5 thoughts on “The Jay-Oh-Bee

  1. Andrew says:

    Who needs to sleep right?

  2. Anonymous says:

    Time to hire a PA for you.

  3. Zeldon says:

    I wanna work for boys!

  4. Zeldon says:

    Wootastic!! Yea for boyz!

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