My phone is stuck on banshee shriek mode. All activities are loudly heralded by Valkyries and shattering glass.

INCOMING EMAILLLLLLLL!!! 

YOU’VE GOT AN F”ING TEXXXXXXT, YAY YOU!!!!!!

WOAH TELEPHONE CALL, DUCK AND COVER!!!

I deserve some form of punishment for pressing lots of buttons while desperately trying to figure out how to turn the phone onto “airplane mode” in-flight so I wouldn’t have to sell a kidney upon returning to the states to cover the telephone bill (didn’t figure it out. kidney 4sale cheep). But this is obscene. Especially as I’m trapped in a swank conference room with people that make my boss sweat. My solution thus far has been to turn the entire phone on and off in between engagements, except that my sweating boss has occasionally needed to text me for sanity and, when the phone is off, I’m unable to provide it. Which of course results in insanity.

Earlier this morning a hulking boy plopped down next to me and screamed like a girl when I got a text. “Let me fix that for you”, he said with swaggering confidence and proceeded to do insulting things like press the volume button (duh, if it had been that easy…) and then go through the settings menu (uh…I’m not an idiot). He finally found a function that put the phone on “silent” and proved it by phoning me. I missed the call, it was bliss.

Three minutes later I got an email and thought the Russians were coming. So. It remains a struggle. Guess I’ll just keep powering the phone off because if a mechanical engineer can’t figure it out, I’m pretty much doomed. Will have to just get a new one. Stupid phone. I also can’t figure out how to get pictures off of it which is a shame because, gosh, has life been exciting. Oh well. Thank God technology is making our lives easier and not serving as an obnoxious impediment to efficiency, happiness and progress in any way shape or form.

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One thought on “

  1. Anonymous says:

    Don’t buy a new phone. It’s a “user error”. The “Geek” will know how to fix.

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